I woke up this morning feeling guilty about the mocking video I posted yesterday about Sarah Palin.

You know, it's the typical liberal thing to do, to sit around feeling guilty for pissing someone off, or even for potentially pissing someone off. I hate that we do this to ourselves, because the right wing seems to never give a damn what ground they scorch with their attacks.

And yet, I still fall prey to this manner of thinking, no matter how much I detest it, and perceive as weakness, in the political party that I generally support.

Now that I think about it, really, though, isn't it really rooted in human decency, this regret that people might have been angered or hurt by our words? I mean, I know it doesn't help my political bedfellows, and tends to get us laughed at by most everyone...but isn't it really sort of, you know, traditionally the role of (dare I say) the RELIGIOUS, to be concerned about others?

Whatever. I know we're ridiculous. We liberals continue to be the geeks in the locker room, pushed against the wall with our pants pulled down.

Nonetheless, though I do aspire to the ranks of Internet Snark Queen, I still do wish to be a force of relative good in the world. So, in the tradition of good liberals everywhere, I wish to provide a brief equivocation.

Sarah, my friend. I've been harsh on you.

Let me be clear: I do not think that you and I would hate each other, if, say, we worked together. I think we would probably have very nice conversations at the copier (though I might suddenly have to busy myself looking about the room for toner if you started going on about how great your church is).

I will go so far as to say that I believe my readers in Alaska when they say that they think she is a reasonably good governor. I'm not there, who am I to say? Her policies are anathema to mine, but I hear that, really, she's not as bad as a lot of the hard-core Republicans up there. I personally think that sounds like a comparison of, say, black bears to grizzly bears, in the "Which do I want at my picnic?" scenario, but...hey. Like I said, you live in your state, and I'm not to judge.

(Oh, by the way? Our governor? Rick Perry. The awesomest quote of last week? Not Palin, not McCain. Rick Perry, who said, regarding Hurricane Ike (and our recently-arsoned Governor's Mansion: "I absolutely understand they want to get back to their homes ... I'd like to get back to the mansion.")

Perhaps it is not fair to post one clip from an interview, in which a tongue-tied Sarah clearly panicked, and reverted to talking points out of sheer desperation. (However, there were obviously others, including the awesomeness about Putin rearing his head over Alaska.) God knows Joe Biden (a.k.a. Gaffey McGaffesalot) puts his effin' foot in his mouth on a regular basis, and I could easily find an hour's worth of his blowhardy nonsense to post for funnin'.

And, believe me, I could, in no way, shape or form, do any of these interviews. I'm OK on a keyboard, but tend to stammer over my words in real-life conversation, and have inconvenient mental lapses JUST when I need to have all the facts at my disposal to hammer a point home to some jackass who questions me.

However...

I am NOT running for VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

And, if Barack had put in the call to me to run with him, I would have said..."Um, NO. Because I am not smart enough. And I did too much stupid shit in college. And I'm a big pussy, and I'd cry if people called me fat. So...NO."

So, what is that soft liberal center of me saying about Sarah? Honestly, it wants me to feel sorry for her. As Kathleen Parker (!) said, today, she is clearly out of her league. I can just envision her asking Todd to spirit her away from all this crap, and bring her back home to Alaska, where they like her, and do not expect her to spout forth wisdom on topics she never considered until three weeks ago.

My old age brings me, however, to a kind of hardened cynicism. I do feel sorry for you, Sarah, that you got roped into this situation. Hey, you guys may pull this thing out and win, yet...what do I know?

However, if you don't, then please remember that this was, ultimately, your choice. You could have known your limitations and refused; however, you chose to believe your own arrogance and ambition rather than the nose on your face.

So, in that respect, I feel that publishing your words as you uttered them - and mocking them accordingly - is not off-base. This is the national spotlight. Is it everything you wanted?

Debate-watchin' time. I've got my bowl of pretzels and my fizzy water at the ready.

Please slam him to the mat, B.O.