Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Head...Exploding!

Can't...handle...the cognitive...dissonance!

Oh, PEOPLE. Have you been watching the news today? Have you? OH, HAVE YOU NOW? BECAUSE I HAVE.

And...I just...have no words to describe the idiocy that I have witnessed on this day.

But, I shall try.

OK. Breathing.

So, internets and history, just to sum up: Today, in one, approximately twelve-hour period, the following shiite went down:

1) Barack Obama calls John McCain to propose a bipartisan resolution on the economy.

2) John McCain does not return Obama's call.

3) He then STEALS OBAMA'S IDEA and suddenly declares he wants to cancel the debates.

4) He then declares he's suspending campaigning because of the great emergency the country faces.

5) HOWEVER, he is not in such a hurry as to postpone his luncheon with his wealthy endorser Lady de Rothschild.

6) He then cancels his visit to David Letterman, because of the great emergency.

7) HOWEVER, he then does not go running to Washington, but instead to...Katie Couric, where he sits for an interview...IN THE SAME STUDIO AS DAVID LETTERMAN. Who of course finds out, and CALLS THEM UP during the interview to mock him.

8) McCain's folks come out oohing and ahhing over what a statesman he is, and how he's "putting his country first."

9) HOWEVER, some douchebag campaign worker in Colorado accidentally releases the McCain "Postponement Talking Points" to the media...effectively putting EVEN THIS lame-ass conclusion to the lie that it is.

10) THEN, our favorite girl Sarah gets on Katie Couric, and in the course of this interview, she spouts some super-intelligent verbiage, including this line, when Couric asked for examples of McCain's prior policies: “I’ll try to find you some [examples] and I’ll bring them to you.”

11) Seriously. If Katie Couric is eating you alive in an interview, how fucking dumb are you?

12) THEN, the McCain campaign suggests that the presidential debate be rescheduled for...wait for it...October 2.

13) Which is THE NIGHT OF THE VICE-PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES. Which would conveniently then need to be "postponed or cancelled."

14) Because clearly there's no OTHER night that it could be rescheduled for. At all.

15) Oh, god. They are so horrible and cynical.

16) THEY THINK SHE'S FINE TO BE VICE PRESIDENT - OR PRESIDENT, GOD FORBID, BUT SHE CAN'T STAND UP IN A G-D DEBATE OR SIT FOR AN INTERVIEW?

17) Ow! OW OW OW!

Please help me. I need an intervention.

---------------------------------------
In other news, I have...ahem...employed a personal trainer at my gym, in a last-ditch effort to force myself to lift weights and do squats (which I will never, EVER do if given half a chance to avoid it. I'll do cardio all day long, but damn, I hate to make my muscles hurt.)

It's been kind of cool so far, even if that means I have to converse with - and I hate to stereotype, but let's be frank here - GYM PEOPLE.

No big changes yet, although I can now do several sets of lunges all the way across the gym and back, with weights.

I don't look GOOD doing it, but I CAN do it.

6 comments:

Po said...

Good job, Mags, with your summary. Excellent job, really. I think I'll copy it and sent it back to my Right Wing nutcase aunt the next time she sends out some Obama-is-a-Muslim level of gibberish.

Pete in NB said...

Letterman: "Sarah Palin thought that Warren Buffett was the President of Margaritaville."

Ahhh...helps take the pain away...along with some Sam Smith Organic.

Sinda said...

The katie Couric thing really cracked me up - well, the part where she nailed Palin anyway.

Lee said...

Buck up, honey. The latest polls should have you feeling good. An important stat: In many states where Bush won solidly in 2004, McCain is either barely leading or not at all. And many states that Kerry took, Obama is even more solid.

Consider these: Bush took Virginia by 8.2%; Real Clear Politics' poll average currently has McCain by only 0.8. North Carolina: Bush 12.4, McCain 3.2. Indiana: Bush 20.7, McCain 2.3. I mean, seriously: If North Carolina, Virginia, and Indiana can actually be considered battleground states, McCain has problems.

Karla May said...

I just want to cry. Or throw up. Or both.

Stacey said...

It's excruciating watching Sarah in interviews. It reminds me of being in my first AISD job fair and some of my on-the-spot interviews before I knew what I was talking about and had to spout bullshit I learned at UT. I think I actually padded my resume with "PTA" too, so we have something in common.