Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Anyone want a YG?

Omigaw, I'm going to KILL my youngest daughter.

Within the past couple of months, she has developed a case of sensory integration disorder that makes anything the OG went through look like NOTHIN', I tell you.

It started with clothes, probably about a year ago. Some are "TOO TIGHT!" and others are "TOO LOOSE!" and yet still others are "TOO SCRATCHY!" or "TOO OVERALLS!" (a.k.a jeans or denim). As a result, the former clothes horse, and collector of beyootiful fancy dresses, now has a sum total of about five outfits that she will wear.

Sadly, one of those outfits does not happen to be tights and a leotard, which is a damn shame, because her Grandma Shirley very nicely agreed to pay for a semi-expensive Saturday morning dance class for her.

Now, without a doubt, the YG LIKES dance class. She has a nice teacher who does very awesome age-appropriate dancey activities, and a class full o'four year olds that are diabetes-inducing SWEET.

HOWEVER, this does not stop her from having a goddamn 20-minute temper tantrum Every. Saturday. Morning. When it is time to get dressed. It does not matter that she likes the class. It does not matter that she knows she will quickly get used to the tights (specially purchased with NO FEET IN THEM, due to the "lines in the toes" debacle of Week One).

It does not matter that she knows we will put them on anyway, despite the tantrum, and that we will go to class anyway, sobbing and sniffling notwithstanding. Positive reinforcement does not work. This week we will try to dress her in them the night before, but I am reasonably sure that this will just be a disaster scheduled for Friday night instead of Saturday morning.

The worst part of all this, however, is her most sensitive reaction...and this is to chewing. More to the point, MY chewing.

Now, I DO NOT chew with my mouth open. The Man, horrifically sensitive to this himself, would never have gone on a second date with me if I did. (Hello, genetics! This is ALL HIS FUCKIN' FAULT.) Sometimes it's the OG that bothers her - who does in fact chew with her mouth open - but usually, it's just me.

No, the YG does not like the sound - or SIGHT - of me chewing, just normally. Gum, food, anything. We have now gone through several weeks of shrieking fits because I'm...um, EATING. Or fucking CHEWING GUM, because I'm on a fucking diet and can't fucking eat anything. And, I chew gum on the way home from work, when I'm hungry...so, when I pick her up, it often results in her shrieking the entire way home, kicking the back of my seat, howling "I CAN STILL HEAR YOU CHEWING! I CAN STILL HEAR YOU CHEWING!", with her hands clapped over her ears.

Tonight - after being sent to time out for quite some time due to today's car incident - she emerged for dinner. When she saw me at the table, she whimpered "I...JUST...DON'T WANT DINNER!" and left the room. (The OG - who is THE AWESOMEST GIRL IN THE WORLD ALL THE TIME THESE DAYS - just smirked, ate her tacos, and not-so-subtly talked about how good HER dessert was gonna taste.)

So, at about 7:00 - me all done, of course - my miserable, hungry, four-year-old comes out and says, "I'm ready to eat my dinner now."

What am I gonna say to that? No? No food for you, you crazy insane lunatic? Because I swear, I was effin' tempted to do JUST THAT.

Time to go do research on THIS ONE now. I've got "Sensational Kids" on my Amazon list...anyone got another one that they like?

Oh, and Your Daily Palin:


"Oh, yah, I read ALL of 'em, Katie!"

Gaah. You know, the conspiracy theorist in me is wondering if they're not totally setting us up for the debates. Like, we think she's going to be a gibbering idiot, but it turns out to be a big lie, and she's not really.

Mark my words, they are going to say she won the debate if she can utter her full name without stumbling over it. This is what is going to happen.


Karla May said...

Wait...Alaska isn't like a foreign country?

God, she's smart.

So seriously: You need to get an AIM address so we can be IM-ing during this debate on Thursday night--wine in hand.

Shelia said...

Mags, my youngest is super sensitive and always has been. Getting dressed most mornings involves lots of crying and always has!

My sister ran across a book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" and I googled it, found the website, and then bought the book, "The Highly Sensitive Child" immediately! But, haven't read it yet. Husband glanced through it, he said, and says it fits her to a T!

There's a screening thing on the website that scores not only your kiddo, but parents as well! My husband is definitely "highly sensitive" and apparently it's genetic. Good times.

One thing I learned.. buy clothes at Gymboree. They're super soft and my daughter can handle them without hardly any fuss. Even their jeans are soft... thank goodness!


Stacey said...

I'm in trouble then. My boy gets mad when I drive when I go a different way then he thinks I'm going to go. He now knows left and right too. He yells "NO, turn LEFT!". He's two.
I used to HATE my dad chewing around the same age as your YG. I remember getting so mad. I was trying to push away a little from my parents and it was the only thing I could think of to be mad at. Keep giving her choices and limits and she'll know she's her own person AND safe. You're doing a good job.

Badger said...

I liked The Out-Of-Sync Child back when the boy was first diagnosed. The Explosive Child is another good one -- not so much for the sensory stuff, but for the screaming conniption fits.

I so cannot wait for Thursday's debate. And I usually avoid debates like the plague.

Todd said...

In light of the recent market "correction" I'm going to have to lower my previous bid on YG to $2.47.

On the clothes front it be the Man's not so recessive nudie gene coming into play.

So far my debate predictions have been 100% accurate - both sides always claim victory. Too bad there isn't some kind of universally accepted scoring system.