Thursday, August 16, 2007

It's a Bloggerspiracy!

They will NOT let my link about purple plates work! I've tried to link to several different sites, and it will absolutely not work.

WHY, I ask you, WHY, do they NOT want you to know about this?

Fine. You will just have to go to your Google - or try - to learn about how, and I quote:

"The atoms and electrons of the aluminum have been altered so that the plates are in resonance, or in tune, with the basic energy of the Universe. They function as transceivers of the Earth's paramagnetic force...creating a field of energy around themselves that will penetrate any material substance by osmosis. This energy is very beneficial (the life-force energy) to all life...plant, animal, or human. It might be considered as Positive Energy, or as God power. Love is "positive energy". God is Love. God is Energy.
The websites say that they give you energy, improve your sleep patterns, make produce last longer, attract money, and keep your pets safe if you put one on their collar. (Probably especially safe if you use the angel one, don't you think?)

Now, aren't you sorry that you don't have one? I thought so! And I know that they have to work, because Nikola Tesla said they would! Or he said something about electromagnetic energy once! And I know he was a really really smart guy!

In fact, I KNOW they work, because my MRI came back with no brain tumors on it. So...yay! It's just Meneire's Disease, which is annoying but decidedly un-fatal.

Thanks, Mr. Tesla! And you, the little purple plate in the side pocket of my station wagon!

Oh, no; how will I ever show my face amongst my friends again?
You Are 44% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

Damn! Damn! Damn! It's not true! I'm super-evil! I fantasized about elbowing a slow person out of my way at Target today! So there!


John said...

Maybe the purple plates deflect your evilness.

I have no purple plates or apparently, a soul. I got 80%...

Anonymous said...

Obviously the plates are not working well enough with all the evil people who are still in your life.

I got a 68%

"You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot."

Not only am I evil -- I'm jealous of John for getting an 80%

da bitch

Anonymous said...

No wonder I can never get laid....

I got a whopping 36%!

"The Nice Guy"

P.S. Deep in my heart I know I'm evil. I'll try harder next time, OK?