5 Random Things You Don't Know About Me

I keep meaning to get back to telling y'all the story of the Older Girl. I promise, I'll do it soon. It's still evolving...case in point, the neurologist has now referred us to the infectious disease specialist...so it doesn't have an ending, yet. However, the major events of this summer bear documenting, and I'll try to get to it within the next week...probably after I get beat out of the Annual McJo's Poker Tournament this Saturday.

So, a bunch of bulleted non-sequiturs is all you get. So sorry.

• I read Free Republic online - the horrible horrible vicious right-wing discussion forum - like it is secret porn. I mean it; I'll flip away from the window if The Man comes home and sees me doing it. I am secretly fascinated by their abject, wanton, evil ignorance, and I turn it on every time a Republican fucks up, just so I can gloat in their pain. (After the 2006 election, I read it like six times a day for a week.)

• I carry a metaphysical, protective purple plate in both cars at all times. (My mother gave them to me, so shut it.) Hey, say what you will; I've never had an accident since I put them in my car, and believe me, I used to have plenty of them.

• I looove fruit, but am fairly leery of fruit-flavored anything. Jelly, strawberry ice cream if it's a premium brand or Bluebell, banana bread - that's all good, but when you get anywhere close to an artificial fruit flavor, I am probably not going to touch it. And if you put anything near me along the lines of a Marshmallow Peep, a Circus Peanut, those pink wafer cookies with the vile cream-like substance in the middle, or a Banana Moon Pie, then you will likely be wearing them.

• Nine days out of ten, when I am peering in the mirror in the morning, I silently curse whoever it was that told me that I'd grow out of having zits when I wasn't a teenage anymore.

• I just threw some pills out of my medicine cabinet that expired ten years ago. So, the official transformation into my mother is apparently underway. (And, I was still looking at the 2002 Midol, going, "Well, at least it's within this century, it's probably OK, isn't it?