Weather! Aaaaagh!!!!

My impersonation of Central Texas weatherpeople when there is anything approaching, weather-wise, on the rare days that temperatures are not above 70 and/or it is not sunny:

"Folks, batten down those hatches, cover those plants, bring MawMaw in from the root cellar, because it is going to (rain/rain a lot/be slightly cold)! We'll have NON-STOP WEATHER REPORTS until this NATURAL DISASTER has passed us by. Stay tuned! Aaagh!"

And they run the radar CONSTANTLY over whatever I am watching, in tonight's case "Bones," thus irritating the fuck out of me. (That's a good show, by the way! Karla, I think you'll like it, if you haven't seen it yet. It has David Boreanaz, another Buffy alumnus, which is always a good sign. I just started watching it last week, and I'm kinda hooked. It's X-File-y! Pretty funny, too, which is the factor that seems to be missing from the CSI clones.)

To the weathermen...or, let's face it, to all y'all Texans... let me break this to you gently:

• To most of the rest of the country, 50 degrees is NOT COLD.

• In most of the rest of the country, they don't cancel school pre-emptively because it LOOKS like it might get a tincy bit icy in the morning before it all melts by 9:00.

• That line you always try to push off onto strangers - that one about "if you don't like the weather in Texas, wait an hour, and it'll change?" That is BULLSHIT. Visit the midwest if you'd like to see a 60-degree plummet in one day, darlings. (Austin weather is thus: From May to November highs 90-100, lows 70-80, and it won't rain. Ever. From November to April it might rain, will dip below freezing at night about 10 times per year, and though there is an odd coldish day here and there, and you have to wear a coat in the mornings, the average high temperature by afternoon is 60 effing degrees. It DOES NOT CHANGE.)
  

I'm sorry, but it's time you were told.

Now go get your parkas, loveys, because the high is ONLY GOING TO BE 47 DEGREES tomorrow. And it's going to RAIN! Be sure to watch the news updates...and don't drive your car into mine in the panic.