Truly Stretching for a Post Idea

(Ed: Good lord, this is sad. Stop reading now.)

If you Google "37th Birthday," you get:

1) Many references to the 1996 movie To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday, starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Danes, and Peter Gallagher's eyebrows. (And Seth Green, illustrious Buffy alumnus.) Haven't seen it, but apparently the 37-year-old woman in question is dead, so I ain't seeing it this week.

2) Breathless tabloid reports about "Grey's Anatomy" star Ellen Pompeo, who apparently got proposed to on Friday, her - yes - 37th birthday. (As per Badger, "Grey's Anatomy" is on my list of things that we don't do in this house. No disrespect intended; I tried it once, and I just wasn't into it. It made me paranoid and gave me the munchies.)

3) And - my favorite - "Matthew McConaughey gets Wasted for 37th Birthday."


Yes, I know you thought that was scenes from the rehearsal of the new Jesus Christ Superstar revival. But, no, darlings, it's Matt, right before he either puked or totally nailed the blonde to the right. Or both, perhaps simultaneously. Matt, who are you, and what have you sacrificed?

Because, you know, why should a birthday be unlike any other day?

(Ed: Told you. Go read someone over there on the right. Damn you, NaBloPoMo!)