Friday, November 30, 2007


Thanks for all of your kind words regarding my dad's passing. It was a bit harried for a little while getting plane tickets and getting out the door yesterday morning, but we all arrived in Kansas City yesterday evening with no complications.

Because the funeral home wouldn't confirm with my mother exactly when the funeral would be, I planned a fairly wide window that I would be up here - from yesterday until Tuesday. And, it looks like it was a good thing that I did, as it won't be held until Monday morning. (That was kind of a hassle...they knew all along that they were having some sort of event all day Saturday, which was when my mom wanted to have it, but they wouldn't TELL her that until yesterday afternoon. The kids could have stayed in school another day, you know?)

I've now heard the whole story of how Dad died. He started getting sick Wednesday morning, and - being my father - refused to go to the hospital that morning, and again that afternoon, and again that evening. When his breathing got very bad, Mom called the ambulance, but they couldn't bring him back.

I believe that this is what he wanted, and that he was wholly ready to go. It's never pleasant, of course, but he died here at home, not at the hospital, which was his desire.

Everything is calm up here now; there's just the comings and goings of people with casseroles and such. My brother arrived from Boston last night, and of course my poor sister - who was here at the house for the whole horrible thing - is also here, although she's taking a well-deserved rest today. The girls are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their cousins, my brother's boys, who will arrive tonight. (Their response to all this is rather clinical and curious, and not particularly emotional. I suppose that's normal for their age.) The adults are going through papers, and calling insurance and social security peoples and the like.

So, it looks like we'll just be talking and gathering and eating for the weekend. There's a brisket, and baked beans, and a whole lot of cookies...and Lee, being Lee, stocked us with a fridge full of Boulevard Nutcracker Ale. Erin and Trish will be coming -which was VERY nice and totally unexpected - and have offered to come to rub my shoulders and raise a glass with us.

The festive aspect of funerals always interests me. I've never been to a family funeral that didn't also involve a lot of joy in the reuniting.

And, I know that my Dad - the bringer of the enormous breakfasts - would not have had it any other way.

Postscript: And yes, my mother did exclaim, "Oh, what a shame you'll have to miss the football game!"


JoyBugaloo said...

I am so very sorry to hear of your dad's passing. My mom passed away two years ago today (well, yesterday technically), and it's still very hard to accept the loss, especially during the holidays. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.


Clark said...

Margaret, please know that you, your father, and all your family are in Milena's and my thoughts and prayers.

A dear friend does not suffer a loss alone.

Keetha said...

I'm so, so sorry. Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear of your dad's passing.

As for the "festive aspect" that you speak of, I know that experience and I think it is a very beautiful natural thing.

I may leave intructions with my family, that when I pass on, I want there to be a huge jolly festive party and everyone laugh about the stuff I did.