True Story

As previously noted, I've been on a bit of a technology-buying spree lately. One thing that I've bought recently is a DVD recorder, because I was frustrated with the whole disappearing-format tendency of video camera technology. I figured, well, if I can put everything straight to DVD, that will help with this problem. (Remember, I have an old computer, which did not have the capacity to store any movies. Or, I did, until I bought a new 160-gig external hard drive yesterday to support my iPod habit...sweeeet. I am downloading now with impunity.)

But, before that, I bought this DVD recorder, also because we have skillions of videotapes that I am getting sick of storing, but am too attached to their contents to throw away. (e.g. hundreds of episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Kids in the Hall, Ren and Stimpy, Space Ghost, and multitudes of movies.)

Before I go any further, I am by default the tech person at our house. I do the researching, buying, and hooking up of components related to video, audio, and computer. (The Man would like it to be known that he is competent in these matters, but that I just get there first.) He seems to think of me as acting like The Computer Guy that Jimmy Fallon used to play on SNL. ("*Sigh.* MOVE!")

Upon transferring a few movies (I started with MST3K's version of "The Giant Gila Monster," which is a gem,) I noted that the videotapes tended to stick upon ejecting them. I'm thinking, well, that's not going to get any better, so I decided to pack it back up in the box and exchange it for another of the same brand.

In between interacting with the girls (alternately scolding, redirecting, and taking to the potty every half an hour,) I unhook the recorder from its clusterfuck of cables, pick it up, nestle it neatly back in its styrofoam (Mags' momma taught her to not throw away the boxes until you were SURE it was working just perfectly,) and pack up ALL of the accoutrements that came with it, remotes, cables, and all.

I tried unsuccessfully to find a brief babysitter gig so that I did not have to take the girls to what was indisputably going to result in a wait in the Customer Service line, but to no avail. Deciding to soldier on, I haul the recorder, myself, and two wiggly girls to Best Buy. Surprisingly, the wait is short, the exchange painless ("Do you have the remote in here?" "Why, yes, I do!" "And the cables?" "Yes, sir!") and the girls amazingly well-behaved. Cheerful now, we decide to go to Radijazz, because I'm just that good a mom. (I promised Older Girl that we would stay until she got tired. FOUR HOURS LATER, I decided that was impossible, and made them leave.)

So, later that day, we get home, and I pull out the new DVD/VCR combo. Looks fine, all is good. I pick it up and go to plug it back into the clusterfuckage, when, lo and behold, I realize that there is, in fact, STILL a DVD/VCR combo on my shelf.

So...what did I take back to the store? Yes, that's right, I packed up MY CABLE BOX and returned it to Best Buy! And nobody noticed it, not me, and not the Technology Professional that looked through my box with such care.

There was another, hurried, trip to Best Buy, again hauling the two children. The situation was remedied quickly...but not without some gloating from The Man when he heard this story. "Oh, you're such a TECH GODDESS, how did that ever happen?" I'm all "Well, I was TRYING to watch your CHILDREN and not let them KILL THEMSELVES or something, it's no WONDER I was DISTRACTED." Bastard.

And the upshot of all this? The new DVD/VCR? Tapes still stick in it.