Something is WRONG with me.

I have had the Biggest. Fucking. Headache. For like three days. I can't post, I can't think, I cannot rouse myself off of the couch. The children are being watched by their reliable, if potentially harmful, babysitter, Mrs. 27-Inch Panasonic.

Molds? Day two of cold-turkey caffeine withdrawal? Vacation hangover? Dieting lethargy? (Or the bastard stepchild of the latter two, Vacation Eight-Pound Weight-Gain Depression?) I don't know. But I am too struck down to care.

Tylenol didn't work, nor did ibuprofen. I brought out the big guns last night - Demerol and Darvocet left over from my bunion surgery in February. I think they just made me more tired, though I was noticeably more relaxed for poker over t'McJo's last night.

I am going to VALIANTLY haul myself to the pool just so the children do not start to suffer from my pain. I believe I'm going to go for that Greta Garbo hat and sunglasses thing, though, 'cause there's always parents from Older Girl's school there, and I DON'T want to talk to anyone. (I almost put "Making small talk with other parents at school functions" on my list of activities in hell.) I'd wear a scarf, too, but I don't know how. Never could pull one off like Karla and Tricia can.

I vant to be aloone.