I'm a little down tonight, for the following reasons (in no particular order):
- I had a really crappy day at work yesterday. I don't really want to go into the reasons, but essentially someone said something to me that was not only not fair, but was also completely illegal. (It was the same set of people that messed with me last year.) If I were the kind of person who would file a formal complaint, I would do so. But I'm not. I'm the kind of person that cries when I'm mad, and I'm the kind of person that can't NOT cry in front of the person who is MAKING me mad.
- I hate the fact that I cry when I'm mad. It makes me more mad. That makes me cry more.
- I absolutely cannot hide the fact that I've been crying, even hours later. It made for fun poker playing last night. ("Hey, Mags, how's it...JESUS, what is WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?", et al.)
- I have several friends, near and yon, going through major stuff. And I want to help them, but can't do anything other than tell them that I'm sorry. (Yo, my peeps...and you know who you all are...I am thinking of you. All the time. And, it is my fervent hope that, on some karmic plane, that this helps.)
- My cat, sitting on the couch next to me, whose life is slowly ebbing away. Still purring, though. (Oh. My. God. As I typed that last sentence, I leaned over and rubbed my forehead on hers. She staggered up, turned around, and fell over into my arms. I'm crying, AGAIN.
On the upside, I got carded this weekend. That's always a mood-lifter.
However, I really could live without the "WHOA!" that always punctuates this exchange.