Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Did you know?

  • That I'll be playing in our annual, all-day, 30-person Texas Hold 'Em tournament this weekend? And that I intend to do better than just make it to the final table this year?
  • That I know every line of the original Rocky Horror? And still know many of the shout-back lines?
  • That if you Street View my house on Google Maps, that you can see not only my two children, but also my gigantic ass bent over the passenger side of my car? (And NO, I'm not telling you my address. If you know it, you will receive this unique gift. There.)
  • That I am totally, completely, unabashedly, OBSESSED with Mad Men? (If you haven't, then go rent the first season. RIGHT. NOW.) And that Swingtown didn't really work out for me?
  • That we have been battling an under-the-house, erm, rodent problem this summer, for the very first time in our lives? And, that this little problem apparently costs scads of money to remedy, between the pest control guys, and the duct inspections/cleanings, and the new, sealed compost pile, and eventually the new sealing-off of the pier-and-beam foundation?
  • That I have, since my ankle surgery in May (and thus my hiatus from serious exercise,) put back on EVERY ONE of the fifteen pounds I lost between January and April?
  • That those fifteen pounds have brought along two little friends? So I now weigh more than I have, excepting, since...EVER?
  • That because of this, I have joined an impromptu Weight Watchers-esque group with Christie that we are calling "Friend Watchers," that involves weighing in once a week? Which met tonight? And that it was so awesome to get on that scale in a room full of people? (We didn't peek, but still. Awesome.)
  • That I have to start work again very, very soon? And that I got moved to a different worksite? So, instead of chillin' and reviewing on Monday, I shall be MOVING instead?
  • And that I am not good with transitions, so I am all kinds of anxious tonight, to the point that my carefully-grown fingernails are now completely extinct?
  • That The Man is so freakin' excited that tomorrow is the opening day of Olympic Track and Field, that I genuinely expect not to see his eyes turned in my (or my children's) direction for the next ten days?
  • That, in all truthfulness, I could literally, loudly, fuck another man in his presence, and I think all he'd do is tell us to keep it down because the last lap of the 10,000 meters was coming up?
  • That this thought genuinely occurs to me during the 10 days of the Olympics?


St. Murse said...

So much on which to comment! Yeah that Rocky Horror remake is a *terrible* idea, I just saw it again last night with a full audience. We'll talk (and sing) RHPS at the tournament.

Of course I know your address. Prize to me.

Remind The Man that brother-wife is coming to town and that vigorous sexual activity burns a lot of calories.

Bookhart said...

I have a friend who says that if you Street View her house you can see her neighbor sitting in his garage getting high.

And if you Street View my neighborhood you can see the eleventy-hundred non-working cars our crazy neighbor has in his backyard.

I thought about you when I heard about the Rocky Horror remake. But it must have been so traumatizing to learn this that I immediately repressed it.

Lee said...

UPDATE: The Man placed fifth at the big-ass poker tournament and won $100! Whoo-hoo! Um, sorry you didn't make the final table honey. I'll take you out to dinner. Or maybe I'll just send the whole thing to the credit card company.