Thoughts on my Graphite iMac, bought circa 1999

My iMac is SO OLD...

...that it thinks "OS 10" refers to its age.

...that it needs to take Viagra just to find its hard drive.

...I have to start it with a hand crank.

...it's getting hard to find those 7" floppy disks for it anymore.

...I think Thomas Edison installed it.

...the date and time were originally set to B.C.

...my iPod's hard drive is more than twice the size of that of my actual computer; thus, iTunes will put approximately 20 songs on it at a time before crashing the entire goddamn system.

Ha! Ha! Ha!!!!!!

It's getting a baseball bat smashed into its monitor tonight; yes, this is the night.

(Anyone got any other good jokes? These are the best I could do late on a Sunday evening with the unfolded laundry waiting...not to mention the ever-hopeful husband.)