The Holidays: A Retrospective

Days gone to Kansas City: Four. (Three, really, as we got in on Friday at 5:30 P.M., and our flight back to Austin left at 6:45 AM Tuesday morning.)

Checked bags we left the house with: Two.

Checked bags we returned with: Five.

Number of FIVE POUND HERSHEY BARS given to me by my father: One. It could have been two, if I had wanted.

Pounds gained: I'm going with four. Fuck if I'm getting on those scales for another week.

Amount of money spent this afternoon on essentially nothing but green vegetables and chicken breasts: $200.

Number of times I wished to throttle Older Girl in three days: Several.

Number of times I wished to throttle my mother: None. Fran and Dick were well-behaved.

Days cat was in the hospital: Four.

Exact number of dollars (plus $750 already spent) that cat will cost me: Mercifully undetermined as of this evening. One last day of breathing deeply.

Number of soda straws said cat has sticking out of her foot at present: None, thankfully, or at least none that I have seen. There's a big ol' bandage on her foot, and she can't walk on it very well. I have to carry her to her food and water and put her up on the bed with me at night. Frickin' pathetic.

Medication doses cat has per day: Three.

Number of OTHER cats in the house that suddenly look terribly sick: One. Dizzy is really lethargic, and isn't eating. They're both going in tomorrow morning. Again, fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Number of Christmas presents I have put away and/or found a home for: None. No, I got out the girls' mechanical toothbrushes; that's about it.


That's about it. Hope you all had a lovely holiday. Please come take my Christmas tree down for me.