I'm sorry. I am just not able to compose anything of worth these days.
I think Dad's death, though not unexpected, has hit me harder than I thought it would, and in a different way than I ever considered possible.
It's like I have a complete dearth of creativity. Like I'm just going through the motions of living my daily life without that constant, omnipresent, narrator's voice running through my brain, which has always been there, all my life. Strange, to have that silence in my head, even if it is only temporary.
I hope you will forgive my meanderings now, and for a little while longer. I fear that, if I stop writing, I will clam up altogether.
So, fair warning; this, and immediately forthcoming, writings, may seem more like typing than writing. For right now, I'll strive to keep my fingers limber, if nothing else.*
Among today's "Xmas 2: Electric Boogaloo" booty:
- The Harry Potter "Monster Book of Monsters" stuffed animal thingy (are you beginning to pick up a theme, here?)
- A Harry Potter "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" T-shirt
- sparkly lavender slippers (snaps to the avowedly tomboyish OG, who did not shriek and/or throw them across the room)
- sparkly body glitter (ditto)
- a marker and crayon easel
- a Webkinz - white dog - for which I hope not to lose the little card, this time, because I've found that, if you do, you will NEVER access their website again
- a gift card to McDonalds (for which I am grateful; unfortunately, she honestly doesn't like their food much. She likes the toys from the Happy Meals, but usually eats only the plain hamburger patty - no bread - and about three of the little "apple dippers," no caramel. No wonder she's so freakin' skinny.)
- clothes (I warned them, no pink; it was realized. Forest-green, stretchy shirt - good. Beige cords - maaaybe. She's not one for a buttoned-fly anything.)
- A Leapster (Pink!)
- slippers (black and pink)
- shirt (pink - but a turtleneck, which could be problematic. Sorry; I breed 'em red-headed and sensory-defensive, apparently) and jeans (with pink belt)
- a Webkinz (pink dog)
- the same easel as the OG
- the same gift card to Mickey D's (she claims to like the food, but does not actually EAT any of it, beyond a few fries and a token nibble at the bun)
- red cut-glass earrings from Ann Taylor (from The Man)
- all the new Buffy the Vampire Slayer comics (also from The Man)
- a Visa check card from Lee's aunt (yaaay!)
- a turntable that converts vinyl to MP3s (from me)
- a book about country music dance halls in Texas (from his cousin)
- a gift card to Target (yaaay! That's for me, too!)
- giant, toeless brown Crocs "Skutes" (from the girls. He actually got those on Friday, but it seems remiss not to mention them, as they are SO PROUD to have gotten him those. The OG has been attempting to convert him to Crocs since kindergarten, and she is beside herself that he likes them.
And now, the age-old question: Where, on earth, am I going to put all of this?
Dang, I just heard that Dan Fogelberg died today. He was only 56.
That made me sad, actually. My formative musical teeth were cut, for better or for worse, on adult-contemporary radio. I liked the song "Leader of the Band," and "Another Auld Lang Syne" still plays in my head on New Years Eve.
Bah. Mortality sucks.
*And, I'll also strive not to take an Ambien before I post. Yesterday's post was a frickin' disaster before I edited it this morning. That crap is kind of evil...I don't think I like it. Anyone else have experience with it? Does it make you...um, STUPID? And not in a fun, "I'm buzzed," kind of way?