Scenes From My Children

Scenario one: Easter Sunday

OG (gesturing furtively towards The Man): "Daddy, I need to ask you a question."

TM: "What is it, honey?"

OG: "Is fuck a dirty word?"

TM: "Well, honey, it is a bad word and -"

OG (interrupting, panicked): "OH, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I'm sorry!"

TM: "I'm not mad at you, honey. Relax."

OG: "Oh, um, OK. Um...what does it mean?

TM: "Well, it's - "

OG: "NO, no, don't tell me, I don't want to know!"

TM: "Um, then -"

OG: "No, wait, tell me."

TM: "Well, it's another word for having sex with someone."

OG: "Oh. OK. Thanks." (Runs away.)
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Scenario two: This evening

YG (standing in the hallway, after being reprimanded slightly for spilling a bunch of water that I specifically told her not to spill, and redirected instead to brush her teeth):

"This is a BAD DAY. I didn't even have anyone nice at school today. And now you're not nice to me. This is a STUPID day. I HATE this day. I want this day to be OVER. This is the WORST day of my life. Why is this day SO BAD?"

Me: "Some days are like that. Um...would you like to finish your Gatorade before you brush your teeth?"

YG (brightly): "OK!"
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Scenario three: Composing Thank-You Notes:

YG (at my prompting to dictate her response):

"Dear Anna. Thank you for the lovely Barbie doll. You are so loving. You made the party a big fairy. That means you are a blast of a friend. Thank you for your lovingness and your good friendness. And I will go to your party and I will bring magic fairy dust to bring out all the love in the land. And the kindness. So, thank you very much. And have a a nice day."

OG (sitting next to us on the couch, slapping her hands over her ears): "AAAAAHH! PLEASE SAVE ME!"

Where I've Been Lately: A Photo Essay

1. The YG is FIVE! Hurray, and ZOMG, when did that happen?

In honor of what is - potentially - the last year of when she'll be, as Karla May put it so succinctly,
"the girliest girl in Girltown," we sprung for a Tinkerbell party at the studio that she takes dance at. (Specifically, it was a "Tinkerbell and the Sparkle Fairies Ballet and High Tea Party.")

She had a fantastic time. I was sad we had to limit the attendance, to tell you the truth, because I honestly think she could have had 20 girls there dancing with her, and she would have been in complete bliss.



2. The aftermath of the party (and, let's face it, far too many years of spoiling).


The YG has now, no fewer than TWENTY-SEVEN Barbie dolls or Barbie-doll impersonators. And, according to her, she loves ALL of them more than ANYTHING in the world, and there is no POSSIBLE way we can winnow any of them down.

3. I got to babysit Simon!

Man, I forgot how much work they are when they are young and unformed. With the bottles, and the diapers, and the burping, and all that? I will opine that there are some distinct advantages to having older children.

HOWEVER, he is undeniably one cute customer.



He was WAY less fussy when Eric came to get him. Figures.

4. Girl Scout Camp! Yes, again!


.

Yes, I grow weary of it. But, she loves, loves, LOVES it. So, there it is. And, the YG is not far behind, after she starts school this fall. Thus, I grudgingly accept my fate, for the time being

5. Work! I don't have pictures of my work! Because it's suckish and frighteningly busy right now! So there is no time for pictures! Everything is due, and I'm running late on EVERYTHING, and nobody can help me, because they're all in the same boat! And that boat? That boat is taking on water! Quickly!

6. Heading out to the Malcontent Mama's swank trailer in the woods for a real-live Hill Country party yesterday:

Now, is that some Texas right there, I ask you?

The girls had a high old time, running around the creekbed, picking up cool rocks (and bones,) and playing with a variety of well-behaved and appropriately filthy children. The Man and I enjoyed some good conversation, and quite a bit of good beer.

How good a time? Well, I must ask those of you that know me well - how do I, typically, feel about unpaved roads? Like, I'd rather die than take one, right? But, I tell ya, I'm coming around. I - yes, I - was the one doing the encouragement to The Man to come out there! And, I'm planning yet ANOTHER camping trip to our annual swing dance, coming up soon!

I've changed, folks; look at me! I am SO much better able to handle hardships - like, say, being more than five minutes away from an art house movie theater - than I used to be!

Oh, and there were cascarones, too:


My children have never known an Easter without confetti-related egg violence. Texans through and through. (Do other people do these, now?)

Hey, speaking of the jaunt out west, I'm going to put a serious plug in for Opie's Barbecue in Spicewood. I daresay they are putting Cooper's to the test. Have the spicy barbecued ribs and the Tater Tot Casserole. Word.

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There's more, but I'm crashing hard. Couldn't be the sugar, or the incredible effort that was expended today while cooking the delicious pork roast with adobo and Sazon or the Tres Leches Coconut Cupcakes with Dulce De Leche Buttercream frosting.

Hope your day went well. I'm out.