Thursday, March 29, 2007

Random Crap What I Got Forwarded

Why? Because you deserve the best, darlings.


Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big
fucking red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
--------------------------
I'll admit it, I laughed.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Hilarious

So, today was the day I was going to march into Site X and find out what their effing deal is with me.

I got there early in the morning - nice and on-timey, natch - to find the boss at Site X. I show her the appraisal from my co-worker - she is the head of a sub-department, and we'll name her "Florence," on account of the time of the month. The site boss says that she's cool with me, and didn't know about any problems. She and I decide I'll go talk to Florence at the end of the day, but generally there is no crisis, and this appears to be the end of it. Cool. One worry down.

The work day proceeds without incident, though I'm a little worried about talking to her all day. I go to meetings, do some writing, have a nice conference with another co-worker ("Carol," who has said how much she values my opinion) race very quickly home for lunch to let out the idiot puppy, go to some more meetings, and it was the end of the day. Bracing myself, I go down to Florence's office to find out what is her damage.

I walked in, settled down, and began with my carefully rehearsed speech.

Me: "Hi, Florence. Listen, I've been meaning to talk to you about some things you wrote on my performance apparaisal that got sent to my boss."

Florence: "Oh, yeah...that wasn't me. That was Carol. We filled it out together. I think you're awesome."

Me: "Ummmm...what?"

Florence: "Yeah, she was mad at you, maybe for forgetting that meeting? I mean, I'm the head of the subdepartment, so it has my name on it, but she wrote all the comments. Really, you're fine. I have no problems with you, and I don't think you're argumentative."

Me: "Erm...really? I guess...OK; well, uh, never mind, then. So...anything else I can do for you? No? Well...have a great afternoon, thanks!"

So, I spent all damn day worrying and stressing over this conversation, and I didn't even have the right person. (And no, I don't know why she'd put her name on it if she didn't write it.)

The damn thing gets more comical the longer I worry about it. In fact, I hereby deem this little incident funny, and no longer a problem.
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As my hair muse, Sienna Miller, is going with mid-length hair this season, I went with longish. (I'm totally KIDDING about Sienna being my muse. She's not. Well, truthfully, she would be if I was a 105-pound millionaire.) It doesn't look much different, but it's shorter in back.

And there it is. It's a cute cut, though it needs a dye job something fierce.

(Jeez. Where did I get forehead wrinkles? At what point did I begin worrying about every damn thing, and thus furrowing my brow ALL THE TIME? I have always mocked the notion of injecting botulism into MY FACE, but perhaps there's something to all this. Note to self: Investigate multiple cosmetic surgeries.)
-----------------------------------------
The new puppy and kitten are learning to like each other (NOTE: For the following pictures, please disregard Ugly Couch! It's not mine! Really! I'd never have a piece of crap like that in my house! My house is all hip and modern, and my furniture is all expensive and from Copenhagen!)


This is the biting and wrestling. It is very cute. It is generally followed shortly thereafter by the puppy yelps. (But she totally eggs it on.)

Are all puppies stupid, by the way, or just Shi Tzus? To say this dog is not the sharpest tack in the box is a violent understatement. Seriously, I can take her to the potty, and she will poop on the floor like three minutes later, staring at me with that sweet but vacuous little expression. "Do you love me? Am I pretty? What's your name? What's my name? What's "potty?" I don't know! I just want to wiggle and lick you!"

However, I am glad that I have Curbie to whip her ass, since I feel guilty doing it.
---------------------------
George W. Bush has 666 days left in office!

AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! SATAN!!!!!!

(Which, come to think of it, I've been shouting at the TV since November of 2000 anyway.)

Friday, March 23, 2007

Good lord, my hair has gotten long!


What do I do with it? Do I keep it all long and flowingy, or do I go revisit The Sienna, because it IS spring, after all?

This is very, very important, folks. My hair is the one and only part of my body that I'm totally vain about. It must be right! It must be me! It must be expensive and smell all Aveda-y!

And you only have until three o'clock tomorrow - when my first haircut since the holidays has finally been scheduled - to advise me, so chop chop! (No pun intended.)
------------------------
Oh, and thanks, all for the support. I feel much better.

The day after my appraisal conference, my boss called me to let me know that another performance review had filtered in on just that very day, and on that review it was strongly opined that I was by far the best at my job that this person had ever seen in her twenty-some odd years of experience.

And, I haven't decided if I'm going to do anything about the chick that went all backstabby on me. I'll probably wait until I'm totally over it, and then attempt to say something graciously inquiring into her concerns, sincerely stating my attempts to improve communication, with just a soupcon of "fuck you for going behind my back to my supervisor instead of saying shit to my face, bitch." (However, my history of such encounters suggests that this will not go as well as I intend. I will probably either a) cry again, or b) chicken out.)

There's still a lot of other work angst, too. Stuff from a few weeks ago that is not resolved, even to the point of having to call my supervisor to defend me. That's harsh. (Hey, maybe I really DO suck at my job!)

But...when it comes right down to it, I have WONDERFUL friends. I have an amazing family. They support me when I'm down - hell; they support me when I'm up, too! When I feel sad at work, I look around, and think "Wow; I'm so glad that my REAL life rocks. Whew!" (And sometimes, that fabled dark, dark part of me wants - in situations like I've been through just lately - to shout out "And yours DOESN'T, which is why you are a BITCH!")

Thanks, friends.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Another bad day at work

(But, this time, I'll spare you all the damn song.)

I'll preface this by stating that I usually LOVE my job. I've been at it five and a half years now, and it is interesting, and challenging, and rewarding in many ways. I have a wonderful boss, though I don't work on site with her. I have many friends amongst my co-workers, and I generally feel accepted and valued. I have my bad and sucky days, like the one from a couple weeks ago, but most days are not high on the suckage factor.

This year, I volunteered to add a third worksite to my two existing ones, where I have been established comfortably for about four years. This third site - we'll call it Site X - had a reputation as a challenging spot, but I felt fine about establishing myself there, and I had the complete confidence of my boss. Admittedly, the beginning of the year there was a bit rocky, as they had been used to doing things in a very different (i.e. WRONG) way in the past, and I knew that I had come off a bit strong at first in my insistence that we overhaul the existing system. However, that was several months ago, the boss at that site has been very complimentary to me and pleased with my work there, and there has been smooth sailing since then.

Or, so I thought.

So, my boss - my real boss - has appraisal conferences for us every year. We choose who we want to review us, and they are given a form with several factors on which they are to rate me on a scale of 1 to 5. They then send it in to my boss, who then goes over them all with us, and we have a nice hug. Without bragging too much, I can state that I have almost never gotten less than a "5" on any form by any person that has reviewed me in the past five years, even my FIRST year, when I was a completely clueless snivelling worm.

Anyway, so, this morning, I go in for my yearly appraisal and hugfest. Four people out of the six that I recommend review me have sent in their forms (the other two being one of my best friends and the boss at Site X, who is on my side). No matter; we go through the first three reviews. Review 1, 2, and 3 - Mags is fantastic, or at least pretty darn good, in most instances, with most people.

Then, Review 4 - from a co-worker at Site X. Mags is...argumentative during meetings? Mags forgot a meeting? (That's true; I did, the day I lost my planner. I apologized profusely and made amends immediately. That makes one meeting forgotten in FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.) Mags needs to communicate better with staff? Mags is...MOSTLY 3's???

Total shock. I had no fucking clue about any of this. I tell you, internets, it felt like a truck had hit me, to have this smacked in my face at MY APPRAISAL CONFERENCE WITH MY BOSS. (She, to her immense credit, told me that she did not believe it for one second, and was taking it out of my file, and so forth. And she hugged me repeatedly. Because I STARTED CRYING! AT MY APPRAISAL CONFERENCE WITH MY BOSS! Because I'm THAT professional!)

Urgh. Now, what do I do? Go to Site X Boss to tell her? Go to this other person who thinks I suck? And try not to cry AGAIN?

Sitting here in my house, after a few glasses of perspective, I'm feeling a bit better. Perhaps crying over some criticism was a bit of an overreaction. It was not exactly a truck that hit me; more like a bicycle. (But, hey! Ouch! Stupid fucking bicycle!)

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Mags' Day Out!

OK, enough with the SXSW bellyachin'. I got out of the house, and away from child rearing duties, for the day!

The Man and I started at cross purposes; I had visions of driving downtown by myself first thing in the morning, and then idling around downtown by myself, sipping coffee and reading the paper at Jo's, until Ms. Noxious and her friend Alison could join me. The Man thought it more prudent for me to take the bus downtown, and not pollute the air in the process. I did not want to take the extra forty-five minutes to get down there, prudent as it may have been - and I was a bit defensive on this point; yes, I was, as I had been the one on kid duty for the past week, and particularly for the last three nights straight. Ms. Noxious and Alison saved the day, however, as they arrived just in time, and provided both of us with a solution that made us happy.

We arrived at Mojo's Mayhem at the Continental Club at about 10:45, and I started drinking Bloody Marys. (With all that celery and greenery in them, those Bloody Marys made me feel positively healthy. As Ms. Noxious pointed out, they're like a little salad in a cup!) Mojo Nixon was on-hand to emcee the whole thing. He's older, grayer, and paunchier than he was when I first saw him at the Blue Note in Columbia, MO when I was 19; however, he still inspires the same brand of drunken lunacy as he did back when he was singing "Stuffin' Martha's Muffin" and "Debbie Gibson is Pregnant (With My Two-Headed Love Child)." It's good to actually be of drinking age now, though.

We missed the jalapeno pancakes, but I wasn't really broken up about that. (I am unintrigued by the potential combination of jalapenos and maple syrup.) An interesting band called The Rokkatones were playing...I don't really know how to describe them, other than a collection of hyphenations - country/reggae/oldtimey? They had a guy playing the steel drum, a gal playing tom-toms, and another guy playing a keyboard that you blow into. They were fun; I'd definitely check them out again.

Right after that, an Australian band called the Beasts of Bourbon played. Now, again, a band can easily have me at the name, and this band easily had one of the best names I've heard in a while. They were Rawk and Roll, children, down to the unwashed hair and the "target" tattoos on the inner arm, right above the vein. The lead singer postured and stalked; he resembled Jim Morrison channeling Mick Jagger. I was unsure what to make of them at first - serious, or not? After a song or two, I decided that, obvious rock-and-roll-lifestyle or not, their tongue was very well-acquainted with their cheek, and I did truly enjoy myself.

The best band we saw was right after them, though - another excellently named band, The Mother Truckers. As can probably be derived from their name, they play rockin' hillbilly music. I love bands with interesting lyrics, great harmonies, and girls that play smokin' guitar, and this band had them all. Totally go check them out.

After they were over, Ms. Noxious and I decided - against our better judgment - that we should call our respective husbands to see if they were on their way to Auditorium Shores for the kids' concert. We stepped outside to do so - and then promptly realized that we had left the club for good, as there was a line around the block just waiting for some of us to stumble into the sunshine. Our decision made for us, we caught a cab to Auditorium Shores.

We arrived just in time to miss the Sippy Cups, who I'm led to understand are a fun parent-and-kid pleasin' band. The Jellydots began to play after that. Just then, The Man arrived with YG and OG, just in time to hear a few songs (including a cover of The Police's "One World is Enough (For All of Us)" and some enthusiastic shout-outs to Flavor Flav). OG stayed long enough to get a snowcone, and then declared it "too loud," and retired to the perimeter to climb trees with Young Sir Noxious. (So much for having fun with the kiddos!)

With that resounding endorsement ringing in his ears, The Man decided to take the kiddos back home, and the rest of us went to Yard Dog for their free beer/music/fajitas party. Feeling little pain by this point, I indulged in all three of these, and an ill-advised cigarette bummed from Allison. (It is true, and annoyingly cliched, that I will very occasionally smoke, when just drunk enough. I am not proud, but there it is.)

Ms. Noxious went home with her kids, leaving me with Josh, Bret, Bob, and Bill, all of whom decided it was a good idea to go see Josh's friends' band at Kenichi, the swanky sushi restaurant downtown. We were promised free sushi and beer; as it turns out, only the former was true, but hey! Free sushi! The band was great, but the name is escaping me at the moment. (Did I mention that there was beer there, too?)

At about 5:30, Allison called my cell phone to let me know that my ride wagon was here. The gang went out to party on into the night after that, but as Allison was my ride home, and because she was ready to haul my tipsy ass home, the day was done for me. I came home, tag-teamed The Man, and let him continue on the SXSW train without me.

And now? Well, I'm tired! And dehydrated! And though it's not true, I'm bizarrely certain that I embarrassed myself, made somebody hate me, or made out with someone not my husband!
In short, I appear to have had a typical Mags Party Down Drinking Fest.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Am I so very sheltered?


Or clueless about modern-day beauty products?

Yes, I KNOW about the whole Brazilian wax things and the pubes shaved into lightning bolts, but are we really coloring the hair down there?

And are we really coloring it flourescent pink?

Lord, I have so much to catch up on. My Betty is not ready.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

If I WERE attending SXSW...

Last night, I would have gone to see The Bravery and Hayseed Dixie (the country AC/DC cover band).

Tonight, I'd be at the Stax records revue, followed by the Hacienda Brothers, then the Mother Truckers, and then either the Polyphonic Spree or What Made Milwaukee Famous. (There's also a band called Les Breastfeeders from Quebec that, quite frankly, just had me at the name. Also, though, their music sample rocks pretty hard, albeit in French.)

Tomorrow (Friday) morning, I'd go see Bob Mould at a free party at Emo's. Then, if I were Badge Scum, I'd be kind of fascinated to see Thomas Dolby at 2:00 in the afternoon. Later, I'd likely attend the free early Ozomatli and Public Enemy shows at Town Lake. Afterwards, I'd be at the New Orleans music "Ponderosa Stomp" lineup at Opal Devines all night, though I might be tempted over to briefly see Kelly Willis at the Austin Music Hall or Badly Drawn Boy at Stubbs.

Saturday, I'd party all day at Mojo (Nixon's) breakfast, then go to the Auditorium Shores shows, and then go see the Buzzcocks at 8:00. Then, against my better judgment and with a fair amount of shame, though I would TELL everyone I was going to see Spoon and The Stooges, I would really probably end up at the Maggie Mae's show with The Presidents of the United States of America and Bowling for Soup. (I loooove that song "1985." Perhaps in a similar vein, the song "Something About You, by Level 42, just came on my iTunes. That song - without fail - will ALWAYS put me in a good mood.)

Sigh.

Oh, well, I guess if I were going out, I 'd probably have to hang out with these drunk losers:

Dodged a bullet there, I'd say.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

South By So What?

Howdy, folks, from Austin, TX!

It's the kickoff night of the SXSW Music Festival (the film part's been going on since Friday, and the tech part before that). Downtown was a big fucking mess today, everybody's got a badge and hip eyewear, we had our one and only big rainstorm of the year - all the trappings of SXSW are firmly in place.

Me? Watching Lost and holding varying members of our ever-growing menagerie on my lap, while my Badge Scum husband gallivants around town with Noxious and his scurvy crew. (He rode the bus, too, so you KNOW he'll come home hammered.)

Oh, I'm not bitter; not much, anyway. My mom is just not able to come down for a week anymore to watch my kids, now that my dad has gotten so frail. Plus, though she can still do it, how much longer is it OK for her to be driving 12 hours by herself? And, most of our friends who would be likely or willing babysitters are either themselves doing South By or have other plans for spring break. Plus, we have no money for $150 wristbands and $60 film passes and restaurants and beer (just puppies!), I'm trying not to weigh a million pounds...there's good reasons to not go.

Eh, I am a bit jealous, maybe just of the freedom to go out and party totally unencumbered. Though, if it has to be only one of us, The Man is much more comfortable going out by himself to see music and shows than I am. I like to have a date of some sort with me when I go out places, you know?

I may check out Mojo's Mayhem at the Continental Club this year - that's his Saturday morning breakfast show with free pancakes - while The Man takes kid duty, finally. Then, I'll probably mosey on over to the kid show at Auditorium Shores with all the other moms who have been inside too long this week. (Brilliantly, I suggested a trip to Zilker Park tomorrow - as I just so brilliantly suggested a trip to the Children's Museum t0day - so I'll definitely be experiencing the downtown clusterfuckage, just without the fun.)

Truly, though, I'm missing the film part way more than the music part. It's tons of fun to go see all those movies back to back, particularly the docs. I've seen some absolutely fantastic docs since I started attending this, and it's too bad that I have to miss most of those. (It's a remote possibility I may go out to see one; we'll see about the sitterage.)

Ah, well. At least Lost is really great again. Lost, you fickle bitch, you make me think you have just veered off into wack territory for good, and then you come back with some sublime fucking episodes. Damn you.

------------------------
How fun is it to watch Alberto Gonzales twist in the wind? Seriously, is that just the best time ever? Even better than Scooter Libby. When, when, when are the REAL heads gonna roll for this administration?
------------------------
Emmylou (EmmyLou? I'm not sure of the capitalization rule) is doing well. She appears to recognize that we will feed her and coo over her as soon as her eyes open. And, she's already angling for a spot on the foot of the bed.

I forgot to mention that she's approximately the size of a very large guinea pig. It's like having a tiny simulation of a real dog. (Come to think of it, that is exactly what she is.)
------------------------
Interesting anecdote from driving my kiddos home from the puppy incident the other day...I was sitting at the light at Airport and Koenig, and there was a panhandler guy standing out in the center. He had a sign that said "Smile," and he gave everyone a thumb-up. He appeared to have all or most of his marbles, and that is appropriate to the last part of this story. As I drove past, I gave him a smile and a wave, and he yells to my kids in the backseat "Hey! You got a hot mom!"

I'm all...erm, thanks, panhandling guy! I'd have given him a dollar for that if I hadn't been driving off. Maybe I should drive by there again.

Hey, a compliment is a compliment. I came home in a much better mood than I had been in before.
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And you? How are you all spending your spring break, if you are lucky enough to be able to have one?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

My latest bad idea


Meet EmmyLou.

She's a little, tiny, eight-week-old Shi Tzu.

No, I have no idea why. I just did.

Well, that's not entirely true...it has a lot to do with the quest to "fix" OG and that whole lack of empathy thing. True to form, she bitched all the way to Del Valle about how she did not want a dog and would not even look at any dogs, to the point that I said "OK, fine, we'll just tell her no when we get there." Of course, when we saw the trio of nummy little munchkins that the lady had, OG was beside herself with joy, albeit mixed with a little anxiety that I had maybe taken her seriously on the way over.

I am so screwed. We have a goddamned dog.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Stolen, as all good things are, from Badger.

You Are 54% Misanthropic

You're somewhat misanthropic, but you're not willing to write off the human race (yet!).
There's a few people you like, and even them you like at a distance.


You Are 36% Texas

You're as welcome in Texas as a skunk at a lawn party.


You Are Socks!

Cozy and warm... but easily lost.
You make a good puppet.


Your Mind is PG-13 Rated

Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy.
You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude.


You Are a Mac

You are creative, stylish, and super trendy.
You demand the best - even if it costs an arm and a leg.


Your Preppy Name Is...

Kirkland Lathrop Thurston the Second
But most people know you as Coco


Your Mouth is a Little Big

You're not a total tell all, but you don't hide who you are either.
You've struck a good balance between discretion and sharing.
People know you fairly well, at least on a superficial level.
But you save your most revealing secrets for your best friend... or no one!


Star Wars Horoscope for Scorpio

You are a powerful character.
You tend to be possessive and lusty - which explains your greedy nature.
You feel threatened when people try to order you around or control you.
You are prone to suspicion and jealousy - but your resilience and passion get you what you want.

Star wars character you are most like: Han Solo


You Are 92% Democrat

You are a card carrying Democrat, and a pretty far left one at that!
There's no chance anyone would ever mistake you for a Republican.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Because I had a bad day

I'm too sad to be funny tonight, 'cause someone yelled at me at work, and the person who put me UP to asking the question that made the FIRST person yell at me did NOT back me UP after the first person yelled at me.

I'm also too sad because, like five minutes after that happened, the occupational therapist who was supposed to start seeing OG TODAY called me and let me know that, though she was careful to note that my child is clearly "difficult" and "chaotic," that she was too busy with other clients to start seeing her, and that she was going to have to go somewhere else. (Interestingly, I have found that if you start crying on the phone to a pseudo-medical provider, then they will offer to file all your insurance paperwork for you. Take note of that.)

So, you get a meme. Badger's had some great ones lately, so I'll steal one from her. (I wanted to do the one about the music from the year I turned 18, but I don't know how to do a strike-through font, so that'll have to wait until someone teaches me how....anyone? Any of you people who wouldn't stay up all night with me watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" want to help me now? About time, I'd say.)

OK, so, I'll do the latest iPod one, because it's easy, and it amuses me. (Like my husband. BOOYEAH!) Also, my iPod is finally, finally, FINALLY working well with iTunes, as I now have a computer that is NOT half the hard-drive size of the iPod itself!

I believe you all have seen these before. You put your iPod, or other MP3 player, on "shuffle," and then use it as a Magic 8-Ball. It is supposed to be revelatory, and possibly funny. We shall see, shallent we?

What is missing from my life?
Kill Surf City - The Jesus and Mary Chain.
(I suppose this means that surly goths are missing from my life. I agree; it's a crying shame.)

Will I find love?
We Can't Make It Here - James McMurtry
(Guess not; sorry, honey.)

Will I become rich?
The Tracks of My Tears - Smokey Robinson
(Yeah, that's the OTHER reason I cried today; The Man called to let me know that we're down to zero on the checking account. Stupid new computer!)

Does someone have a crush on me?
UGLY - Fishbone.
(I fucking shit you not. Goddamn it!)

What is my favorite sexual position?
Slick - Sugar
(Erm...)

Am I good looking?
Falling in Love Again - Marlene Dietrich
(I suppose that that I am a good-looking, if mannish, woman in a tuxedo? And why is Marlene Dietrich on my iPod, anyway?)

What makes me the most happy?
I Left My Baby - The Kansas City Band (from the movie Kansas City by Robert Altman)
(Damn, sister iPod, you tell it like it is! I can't tell you how happy I am that I left all my former "babies" in Kansas City!)


What is my biggest regret?
Hakuna Matata - The Lion King
(My biggest regret? Putting kids' music crap on MY iPod!)

How will I die?
Mucha Muchacha - Esquivel
(Obviously in a loungy way. I hope I have a beehive and am drinking a martini, and am wearing a fabulous Shag-esque frock.)

Do I act my age?
Don't Fight It, Feel It - Primal Scream
(I guess that's a yes. I don't fight it, and I DEFINITELY feel it.)

What type of tattoo should I get?
Rumble in Brighton - The Stray Cats
(Fucking A yes. There's nothing sexier than a rockabilly guy - or gal, for that matter - with tattoos. I'm getting that cat with the duck's ass hairdo that Brian Setzer used to have.)

What is my spirit/animal guide?
You Make Me Feel Like Dancing - Leo Sayer
(I do think Leo Sayer is my spirit guide. For real.)

Do I like pain?
Turn - New Order
(I guess I like pain, but only the kind I have to turn around for. Kidding, honey, LEAVE IT ALONE.)

Is there anyone else like me out there?
I Believe - REM
(There's a few of them. Almost all are in the Pussycat Dolls, as it turns out.)

Do I love to party?
I Know What I Know - Paul Simon
(That's for me to know and you to find out, bitches.)

Where should I move to?
Slumming on Park Avenue - Peggy Lee
(Nice. I dig. But again, who programmed my iPod? My grandmother?)

Will I ever be president?
Sit On My Face - Monty Python
(Yeah, I figured all that would catch back up with me someday. Guess not.)

Of COURSE I was talking about my love for Monty Python. What were you thinking about?

What is fun for me?
Comfortably Numb - The Scissor Sisters
(Um...heroin, I guess. Or merlot; whichever.)

Will I ever learn to fly?
I'll Get Lucky - The Plimsouls
(Yay! Either I'll learn to fly, or I'll have sex in an airplane bathroom! Either is great!)

What is my superpower?
Here Comes Santa Claus - Spike Jones
(Apparently, I'm "Bore My Friends To Death With 50-Year-Old Music On My iPod Girl!")

Will I be successful?
This Drinkin' Will Kill Me - Dwight Yoakam
(Guess not.)

How often do I get angry?
Hot For Teacher - Richard Cheese
(I often get angry, especially when lounge singer guys imitate David Lee Roth.)

What is my favorite thing to do?
Detonation Boulevard - The Sisters of Mercy
(Go drive around with the goths! Back to square one!)

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Oh, my god, the 21st century ROCKS!

I am typing this on a REAL LIVE LAPTOP, which is in my REAL LIVE LAP on my motherfucking COUCH, and it does NOT have any wires attached to it.

Fucking A.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

So many things...

...so little time. So, you get bullets tonight.

  • She was dying, so...I replaced Old Bessie with this little beauty! It isn't actuallly the blazing speed demon I was hoping for, but it's very pretty, with its ginormous monitor and all, so I hope it works out well.
  • Speaking of dying, Molly (my cat) is back to doing poorly, though she got more than $800 spent on her at the vets office this past week. Crap, crap, crap...no, not again; not so soon.
  • OG will also not get well from her fever/virus/flu thing. She's up, then down again, then back up. And, no matter what, this whole thing about keeping her "resting? It's not going to happen. She's hyperactive, folks.
  • I went to see "Zodiac" tonight. All kinds of men that I find hot are in this movie (e.g. Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Jake Gyllenhaal, Dermot Mulroney). It was good. Long, but it didn't feel that way. Mick and I actually agreed that we both liked the same movie!
  • The Man did this thing with me the other night. You know, that thing that I loooove, and he is REALLY good at, but some men are grossed out by? I mean, I often don't do it for a while, and then when I try again, I'm kind of sore. But, after I keep doing it a while, it starts to feel SO good. And then we kept at it for over an hour!
Yeah, buddy, he took me dancing!

I have to say, I never feel quite as many envious stares as when I'm on the floor with a man who loves to dance. We aren't the best out there, but I do love a man who isn't afraid to be the first one out there and the last one standing.

(I was sore, though. I forgot; I'm out of dancing shape.)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Fine...

Just fine. Nobody wants to stay up all night watching Buffy episodes with me. We are all TOTALLY going to miss a great time. Hmph.

But, on another note, does anybody want to spend scads of money and participate in a long and highly inconvenient car ride to go see The Police with me in Dallas on June 26th?

Huh? Huh? Huh?